Uncensoring myself - and the call for unity

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I started this blog last year. I was so excited and proud and happy that I actually brought into being something I’d wanted to do forever. It gave me a chance to be heard and seen and express myself in a way I enjoy that was different from my professional writing career.

People seemed to enjoy and relate to what I wrote. *I* enjoyed what I wrote. Recently, I went back to read a few things that made it to that blog and I LEARNED SOMETHING from my own writing! Wow!

But a few months into it, I stopped writing.  Why? Yeah, I was busy. But actually, it was more than that. I was paralyzed. Deer in the headlights. And I was horrified. And I couldn’t gather my thoughts into cogent sentences to explain what I was feeling in a way that wouldn’t piss other people off, so I stopped. 

Why do I care about people’s reactions? I didn’t mind getting into debate with strangers or friends. But there is a certain professionalism I like to maintain in my work life, and since I have been sharing this blog on my personal and professional Facebook pages, I felt stymied. 

And yes, this was political. It started with watching the debacle of Joe Biden at the presidential debate. It was nauseating. Not only his performance that night, but the absolute tripe and nonsense his opponent was spouting. And the disaster continued when nearly every major news outlet in the country couldn’t stop talking about Joe Biden’s alarming showing — and simultaneously made absolutely no mention of the palaver being spewed by the other man on the stage. And then the widespread dissent within the party and Democrats and pundits falling over each other in chaos and confusion about how to proceed.

It was embarrassing. And this was MY party. 

It made sense for Vice President  Kamala Harris to take up the presidential candidacy, and I liked her and thought she would lead well. But it didn’t sit terribly well with me that I had voted for a candidate to represent me, and now the party was deciding on my candidate without my consent. I voted for her, of course, because the alternative was unthinkable - but close to 90 million people didn’t vote at all, according to U.S. News & World Report, handing the election in November to Harris’ opponent with a 1.7% victory and plunging the country - and the world — into an almost unimaginable level of cruel chaos.

But I refrained from writing to you about this. Partly, I was in shock, and I needed time to find my bearings. And as the country became more polarized, I didn’t want my blog to be a virtual flashpoint that set off verbal fisticuffs over the election and politics. I didn’t want to stir up disagreements and arguments with those I work with and work among. I talk politics (and cats) on my personal Facebook page, but maintain a mostly neutral persona on my professional page -- even though sometimes I don't disguise my views so well.

Censoring myself wasn’t doing me any favors, however. I couldn’t give myself permission to blog about something more pedestrian because it didn’t feel authentic  to bypass the growing alarm I was  feeling about destructive measures I have been seeing to remake this country. These measures fly in the face of the fundamental tenets of this republic - things we have taken for granted, like the Constitution, due process, the Amendments, and basic human decency. So my blog went to radio silence.

I understand change. I understand that the party I most closely align with is NOT always going to be running the show. I understand that the pendulum swings from conservative to liberal and back again depending on who is in the White House and which party holds the majority in the Senate and House. I get that other people in the country have different views on how to use tax money. I’m pretty sure that the system of government we have today was designed this way, with checks and balances, and that ideally this is done with ample amounts of gravitas and conscience. 

What I don’t get is the viciousness, vindictiveness, hubris, intentional chaos, brutality and complete disregard for rule of law and due process by the highest office in the land. I don’t understand the willful destruction of the aforementioned tenets. I don’t understand how the president of the whole country can demean and tear down those who are not in his party, especially in a Memorial Day message designed to honor the fallen - of all political parties - who gave their lives for this country. It is inconceivable to taunt immigrants being deported on the official White House Facebook page, or for a president to equate himself in any way with a beloved Pope on occasion of his passing, let alone sharing an image of himself as pontiff. I am aghast at his efforts to push our country into martial law, the beginnings of which were evident in L.A. over the weekend. I am appalled at the clearly unqualified people he’s chosen to populate his cabinet - while he decries DEI. I am seeing our country being shunned, advances in science and medicine being dismantled — putting us at risk, making us vulnerable individually and as a country. Societal supports for those who most need them are being eroded. I don’t know how people avert their eyes as he plays whack-a-mole with the global economy, imposing tariffs - even on our allies and neighbors — then changing course and reversing them and imposing them again a week later. It all seems to be designed to keep us guessing, off course, off balance, in a state of anxiety or overwhelm.  None of that is ok. That is not the way to run a country.

So, this is what is REALLY on my mind right now. And I haven’t had the courage to write about it until now. But staying silent not only is complicit; it is damaging to my psyche.

That said, I recognize that myopic focus on the political sideshow may indeed be the intended distraction. Every second I give in to outrage and horror sucks away my energy and exhausts me. And I don’t like being played. So, what to do?

I read a koan recently posted in a private Facebook group I belong to that is dedicated to developing a strong, sound mindset. The koan asks, “Does a dog have a Buddha nature or not?” (The same could be asked about a cat). The answer is “mu.” This is an answer intended to bypass the duality inherent in the question and encourage out-of-the-box thinking. 

When I read this koan and the following musing on escaping the trap of binary thinking in the post, the very first thing that came to mind was the political climate of this country. Depending on your perspective, one side is “good.” One side is “bad.” 

The problem is, we keep hammering away at the country’s challenges from the established perspective of our “own” side and nothing actually evolves. We’re stuck in the duality. This may explain the disquiet I feel with most messaging I am seeing even from my “own” side. Yes, I long for more gracious governance, but is the solution endless fighting in this two-party system, fellow countrymen and women pitted against each other in an eternal struggle to the death, and then starting it all over again in 2 or 4 years?

Can’t the best minds and hearts in this country transcend this binary chokehold and ascend to something beyond the “two wings of the same bird” system? Is the seesaw of prosperity and poverty the only model we can imagine - that for one group to prosper (in all senses of the word), another group must suffer? Isn’t there a bigger vision that can draw our country upward and beyond to the next level of government and society that works for all citizens, and is gracious and supportive, humane and just? Is a collaborative approach so hard to imagine? 

It seems to me this actually is the FUNDAMENTAL purpose of Congress. And yet, the system that has served us for almost 250 years has been severely tainted by rancor and the worst, most putrid display of ultra-partisan politics. Amidst the cleverness, the memes, and the potshots, the cooperative, collaborative intent for the good of the people of the USA -- that is the actual business of the legislative branch -- has gotten lost. And so our government cannot function.

I am reminded of the two hemispheres of the brain - the left creative, intuitive side and the right rational, logical side. Both are necessary. But what makes them effective is the bundle of nerves running between them — the corpus callosum — that facilitates communication between the hemispheres. Without the corpus callosum, movement and thinking devolve into disarray and spasticity. Is that so different from what is happening in our two-party political system today?

One way out of the endless cycle of dichotomy is to develop a new political corpus callosum that restores a cooperative convocation of perspectives and ideas with the intent to facilitate communication, foster unity and prevent the retreat to individual corners. This will take mu, out-of-the-box thinking, courage and a deep sense of humanity. 

This disgraceful practice of us spitting like jackals at each other instead of coming up with real, workable solutions must come to an end. One might argue that the current administration is trying to dismantle this two-sided approach. But in my view, it’s not being done with intelligence or compassion or respect for the humans being affected by executive decisions or for the foundational principles that have brought us to this point in history. 

It’s time for a refreshed season of collaboration and unity with us working together for the good of the country we revere, and the people and resources in this land. 

How do we begin? Mu. 

With thanks for inspiration to Ron Nash.